How to fix a relationship based on lies

how to fix a relationship based on lies

While some will say it's OK to lie to your partner at certain times, a new Their relationship was not built on integrity, and therefore will not survive.” The problem is whether or not you're keeping that communication secret. The key ingredient in any relationship is trust, especially as we grow older. Another “lying” problem is the person who consistently lies. Lies and secrets damage us and our relationships. Intimacy is based on trust and authenticity — the ability to be vulnerable or “naked,” not.

It all depends on you as a person. How much are you willing to put up with and how much time are you willing to spend with a liar?

Things That You Can Do To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship

The key ingredient in any relationship is trust, especially as we grow older. Coupled with respect and love, trust gives you a strong basis as a couple. While trust is a bond, it is also a tenuous one, easily broken, if one of the partners constantly lies.

When we talk about lying, we're not including innocent white lies as in, "Did you close the outside lights? It no longer is an active part of being a couple.

The Devastating Power of Lies in a Relationship

That breaks the strong bond of partnership. Lies about fidelity and money are the two most common ones that affect couples. They make it almost impossible to have real trust ever again in a relationship. If your partner has cheated or if you feel that he or she will cheat again you have a trust issue.

Lying: A Relationship Deal Breaker

In addition to lying to you, he or she is making you constantly wait for "the other shoe to drop. Staying together is not an option for you. Life is too stressful. I absolutely cannot trust him. Once I caught him in a lie that changed everything. I can't take him back no matter how charming he seems to be right now. A fifty-something woman confided to me about what her new husband had done that constituted a complete marital trust breaker. In the glow and trust of a new marriage she had put his name on her checking account.

A week after coming home from her honeymoon she had gone to cash a check for two hundred dollars only to be told there were insufficient funds in her account.

Her new husband it seemed had used her money to pay off his heavy debts he had accumulated with his first wife, debts this wife knew nothing about!

The first is out of shame or fear. People who lie for this reason can get better and learn to tell the truth. The second kind of liar is less fortunate. Some people lie simply because they are selfish. These liars are pathological. They will lie even when it would be easier to tell the truth.

The Devastating Power of Lies in a Relationship

Cloud and Townsend warn that we need to stay away from these people. I think some people want grace and certainly they can get grace, but when we lie, we make the people we are lying to feel badly about the relationships and about themselves.

how to fix a relationship based on lies

We like people who make us feel respected, cared about and honored. Lying to somebody communicates the opposite. Here are the things that lies did to my two relationships: When my friends lied, I felt disrespected and unimportant.

This made me feel bad about myself, as though I were not important or trustworthy enough to be told the truth.

Lying: A Relationship Deal Breaker | HuffPost

When I found out the extent of one of the lies, I felt like a fool. It was as though she were testing out whether she was safe to be vulnerable.

how to fix a relationship based on lies

She told many other lies, but this was just one of them. I thought less of my friends. When we lie, we are stealing social commodity without having earned it. People can lie their way into power, and in one instance with a friend, she lied her way into moral superiority. An appropriate use of those two examples of superiority might be to lead a team or teach a class.

I felt sad and lonely. When we think we are getting to know somebody, we are giving them parts of our hearts. This made me feel lonely and dumb. The only thing more important than love in a relationship is trust. Trust is the soil love grows in. When my friends lied, our trust died.