Tips for starting a long distance relationship

tips for starting a long distance relationship

If you're just starting a long distance relationship you might be feeling a bit freaked out right now. That's good! It means you're open to some. Ask anyone about long distance relationships and you will probably get The pain, struggle, and yearning will all start to feel pointless after a. For most of human history, long-distance relationships have been impossible to Relationship Advice I Wish I'd Heard Before Getting Divorced.

When these seasons hit, put a bit more effort into finding new and fresh things to discuss or make it easy on yourself and check out the book below. Practice asking questions that make you feel vulnerable. Be willing to be transparent. Also check out I cheated on my long distance boyfriend, should I tell him? So recommend books, articles, podcasts, music, movies, news items, etc to each other. If you can read or listen to some of the same things, that will help you share experiences and give you new things to talk about.

Read up on some of those stories and learn from those who have gone before. Talking to each other is great, but make that extra effort sometimes to try something new or go on a long distance date. Writing gives you more time and space to reflect on tricky issues, and letters and emails can become treasured keepsakes or maybe even a book in the future.

Tell your partner how they can best help you during those times. Ask your partner to share these things with you, too.

If you want to know how to make a long distance relationship work, learn some basic conflict-management strategies and discuss them with your partner before you find yourself mid-fight. Also check out Love Is A Battlefield: If possible, save your serious disagreements for when you can talk them out in person or at least on the phone.

Learn to recognize and control your own emotions Long distance relationships often involve intense emotions and extreme ups and downs. There are times of intense loneliness, uncertainty, doubts, and fear. There are also times of extreme excitement, joy, and incandescent happiness.

Learning to recognize, own, and manage your own emotions will pay off big time—now and in the future. Learn to control any jealousy in your long distance relationship Feeling a little jealous now and again is not unusual in a long distance relationship.

tips for starting a long distance relationship

However, uncontrolled jealousy can lead to a destructive combination of suspicion, possessiveness, insecurity, anger, and shame. It is controlling the situation by simply refusing to engage. Distance makes this particularly easy to do hanging up or not answering or returning callsand it can drive your long distance partner crazy with frustration, second-guessing, and self-doubt.

tips for starting a long distance relationship

Tackling this hot topic directly can help avoid assumptions and conflict. Do you know what your primary love language is?

tips for starting a long distance relationship

Do you know how to speak your partners? Also check out The Five Love Languages: What Do You Speak? Build your love maps Your love map is your mental network of information about your partner—their interests, stories, what makes them tick, and things you love and admire about them.

The more positive memories and associations you build into this love map, the stronger your relationship will be over time. Also check out The Sound Relationship House: Talking about these things and any growing feelings of jealousy or unease can save you a lot of heartache and conflict in the long run.

Share things with each other that have made you laugh. Surprise your partner every so often with something thoughtful Everyone loves getting a present, a bunch of flowers, or a handwritten letter in the mail. Every so often, go the extra mile and do something extra and special to help your partner feel loved and valued.

tips for starting a long distance relationship

Bonus points if the gesture is uber-thoughtful. Make sure you have some reminders of your partner around—perhaps put their photo on your desktop or tape it to your mirror, drink out a coffee mug they gave you… the possibilities are endless.

Find a way to involve and connect your partner with some of the other important relationships in your life. Everyone has different tips and tricks that help them cope better with the ups and downs that come with being in a long distance relationship. Figure out what works for you, then do it. Build a life where you are. Do things that make you fitter, smarter, and happier. Do things that interest you. What we did As my partner and I were in opposite time zones it made it that much more difficult to set times that suited both of us.

We had to make some sacrifices, but one area we tried to keep in check was getting to bed a reasonable hour! Key takeaways Get as much sleep as possible! Creating a schedule and sticking to it will help reduce those long and sleepless nights. One thing that took a hit in the process was our social lives. This is OK—even necessary—to a certain extent. However, the best thing you can to keep you both healthy in the long run is to strike a balance.

How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work: 50 Best Tips

Lolo and I made a special effort to keep up with our regular routine around sport and other social activities as much as possible by prioritising. Prioritizng helped us see what was really worth hanging onto and what was worth letting go of so we could be connecting on Skype. Make small sacrifices to accommodate for both just like any regular relationship would.

Advice On How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship

Prioritising what is most to least important will help to set up a great routine. You will have to deal with this sort of stuff on some level.

Your relationship will become the topic of choice numerous times, whether you like it or not. Some friends and family will be supportive while others will be second guessing your decision.

tips for starting a long distance relationship

Or, rather, that you need to be selective about whose input you pay attention to. What we did Personally I believe your partner should meet the important people in your life as soon as comfortably possible after starting a long distance relationship, whether it be in person or even over Skype.

Lolo was introduced to some of my family quite early, which gave us the opportunity to show them we were serious and that the connection we had was real. It definitely had a positive impact for us. Have your partner meet the important people in your life as early as possible in the relationship.

As long as they are comfortable doing so! Seeing a loved up couple showing each other affection leaving you feeling envious that they can just BE with their partner. The second situation I listed above is by far the hardest to overcome. The real issue here is trust. Without trust and some level of emotional generosity on your part, these feelings of jealousy will continue to pop up and will start to poison you over time!

Lack of trust in a long distance relationship will not only impact your relationships but also your personal life. What we did Lolo and I were in opposite time zones, which made it really tough when it came to the weekend.

One of us would be going to bed while the other was up and about. This sort of situation allows the mind to race, and frankly get out of control sometimes! What is she doing? Who is she with? Is she going out tonight?

Make Your Long Distance Relationship Easy & Fun | Modern Love Long Distance

What if she meets someone? These questions and more will pop up from time to time and the best way we found to deal with them was by being honest and having trust in each another. Key takeaways Jealousy is inevitable. You need to be able to trust each other, otherwise it will continue to impact negatively on your relationship.

You Need To Keep Your Spending In Check Just like your lifestyle will need to adapt when you start a long distance relationship, so will your spending habits.

Being separated by distance means there is going to be travel involved at some point, and potentially a lot of it. Lolo and I were literally on other sides of the world. Visits and closing the distance came at a hefty cost. What we did We saved.

It was really hard at first, but one simple thing helped us immensely. Together we figured out when our visits would be and what it would take to make them happen. This gave us financial goals to achieve.

As we kept up with our goals well before our trips it was one less thing to worry about while we would be together, which just meant we could focus on US. Money or lack thereof, can have a huge impact on all relationships. So any chance to remove it as an obstacle needs to be taken! Key takeaways Save wherever and whenever possible.

Can reduce stress if removed as an obstacle.