Borderline and narcissist relationship

borderline and narcissist relationship

A "high conflict person" means someone with BPD/NPD who is not the A high conflict relationship relationship" means you and the person who has traits of. Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality level of a clinical disorder because it significantly interferes with relationships. How is Borderline Personality Disorder Different from Narcissistic Personality and stormy relationships” is, in fact, one of the characterizing symptoms of BPD.

While borderlines have an intense fear of abandonment, a hallmark of their disorder, narcissists are often the ones doing the abandoning. Borderlines may engage in chronic manipulation of their loved ones using jealousy, control or threats to avoid abandonment only to heighten the risk of being abandoned due to clingy, needy or controlling behaviors.

Relationship Stages With A Narcissist Or Borderline And Triangulation

Narcissists manipulate by devaluing and discarding their victims to humiliate and control them. This includes covertly and overtly putting their victims down, subjecting them to stonewalling, emotionally withdrawing from them and invalidating them, as well as abandoning their loved ones without giving them any sense of closure or explanation.

Borderlines and narcissists share the intense experience of feeling and demonstrating an immense amount of rage. Borderlines have a wider emotional range than narcissists do, though they experience a similar sense of chronic emptiness and void as narcissists. Borderlines can in fact feel intense, loving feelings for their friends, family and relationship partners; the problem is, they tend to also devalue and manipulate those loved ones due to their rapidly shifting emotions and distorted sense of identity.

When they are not being their usual charming selves, narcissists tend to display flat affect, feel a sense of emotional numbness and experience perpetual boredom, which causes them to be on the lookout for new supply people that can provide them with validation, praise and admiration. Their most intense emotions tend to be envy and rage.

Narcissists also engage in something similar to splitting known as idealization and devaluation, where they are prone to putting their loved ones on a pedestal, only to swiftly knock them off. The idealization-devaluation-discard cycle with a narcissist is often not an emotionally charged or emotionally motivated cycle as it is in splitting, but rather a more manufactured pattern that enables narcissistic abusers to move forward to other sources of narcissistic supply.

It is commonly assumed that both disorders stem from trauma.

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There is still no clinical verdict on what causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder, though there are certainly some narcissists who can come from backgrounds of trauma. There may also be another theory of origin for narcissism; a recent study confirmed that overvaluing spoiling children and teaching them a sense of entitlement early on can lead to the birth of narcissistic traits Brumelman et. The origin of personality disorders is a complex topic and it usually involves the interaction between biological predisposition and environmental influences.

Borderlines may have more of a capacity for empathy than narcissists do.

borderline and narcissist relationship

A recent study confirmed that, when not under mental duress, borderlines could recognize mental states in the facial expressions of others more accurately than even non-borderlines, possibly due to their own intense experiences of emotions Fertuck, et.

However, both borderlines and narcissists have been shown by brain scans to have deficiencies in areas of the brain related to empathy. These studies suggest that regardless of what disorder one has, those lower on the spectrum for both disorders may have a capacity for empathy if, and only if, they are willing to and guided to take on the perspective of another.

Borderlines and narcissists can also differ in their ability to change and prognosis. This therapy merges interpersonal effectiveness skills with mindful coping methods to help those with borderline traits in emotion regulation, the reduction of self-harming behaviors and in healthier social interactions.

The developer of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Marsha Linehan, was herself diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, and is part of the group of borderlines who no longer show traits after undergoing treatment. Though there are certainly borderlines who may not be as high-functioning, there are also borderlines who manage their symptoms successfully, even to the extent of remission and no longer meeting the criteria for their disorder.

This is probably because of early intervention: While DBT is helpful to borderlines, narcissists often feel rewarded by their behavior and are less likely to attend or benefit from therapy. When upset, they experience a flurry of emotions, distorted and dangerous thought processes, and destructive mood swings that threaten the safety of others, as well as themselves. However, those positive attributes are not without the proverbial strings attached; when the BPD explodes with vindictive rage, all they said or gave to their loved one may be taken away in one fell swoop of aggression.

The Most Painful of All Disorders: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

When they are happy, the world is a beautiful and perfect place. On the other hand, they reflexively experience reckless rage, paranoia, and feelings of hopelessness when they perceive they are being rejected or abandoned.

Their swing into red-hot, out-of-control fury brings them to the brink of harming themselves or others.

People with BPD are chronically unsure about their lives, whether it is with their family, personal relationships, work, or future aspirations. They also experience persistent uncertain and insecure thoughts and feelings about their self-image, long-term goals, friendships, and values.

Relationship Stages With A Narcissist Or Borderline And Triangulation

They often suffer from chronic boredom or feelings of emptiness. During moments of a complete emotional meltdown, their thought processes, insight into their emotional state, and ability to make sound and rational decisions become severely impaired. This is not due to a lack of love, but because, in that moment, they have been triggered to experience the wrath and anger connected to repressed memories of their abusive, neglectful, and traumatic childhood.

borderline and narcissist relationship

BPDs are rarely capable of sustaining stable long-term relationships. Their romantic relationships begin quickly, intensely, and with a great deal of excitement, euphoria, and sexual chemistry. Their volatile emotions move in one of two directions: The early euphoric love experience is transient as their psychological fragility leads them to an eventual emotional crash and burn.